ALL YOU NEED TO ACHIEVE SUCCESS IN LIFE - LISTENING ATTITUDE

The Art of listening:

What Is Listening?

Listening is the art of paying attention to a sound or action. It is the art of paying attention and being aware of both verbal and non-verbal messages passed while another person is speaking.

Mastering the art of listening is the basis of great communication.

In our World today, the art of good listening has been abused so much that Communication has become a nightmare for so many people.

This has left them unwilling to share their feelings and keeping to themselves creating a World of Persons who pretend to understand one another’s problems and concerns while selfishly placing their own thoughts and belief above everyone else’s.

When I say listening here, I’m not referring to the techniques of reflective or active listening that basically involves mimicking what another person says either by nodding or repeating it after them. I am referring to a different form of Listening.

How to Listen:

What Is the Correct Way to Listen?
Now you may ask…

How do I know I’m Listening to Someone in the right Manner?

• First, when a person calls your name, or calls for your attention or sits beside you and starts speaking, that is a sign he/she wants to talk to you and would want you to listen to him/her.
So what do you do?
It is demanded that you lift your eyes off whatever you’re doing and focus them on the person speaking as that’s is a sign you are interested in whatever they want to say. It is also a sign of respect.

• Secondly, while the other person is speaking, try as much as possible to listen to the meaning of every word, feelings and gestures he is making because that’s where the real message of speech comes from. Also because He might also throw some questions to know if you really are Listening and would be disappointed to know you’re not.

• Finally, never bring up your personal experiences from whatever they say but only speak when they ask you a question or you can ask a question when you need clarification on what they said.
Never give them advice unless they ask for it and don’t ever cut them off while they’re speaking.

Practicing the following steps in Communications of your Relationships can increase your Respect as well as strengthen your relationships.

Types of Listening:
In this context, we are only discussing two types of Listening;
• Empathic
• Non-empathic

Empathic:
What is Empathic Listening?
Empathic Listening deals with listening with intent to understand. It means listening and putting the other person’s feelings and thoughts before yours and wanting to understand what they’re saying.

Empathic comes from the word “Empathy” which means the capacity to understand another person’s point of view and being able to identify thoughts, feelings, of another person.

It means putting yourself in the place of another person’s shoes while listening to them.
This is best form of listening. Being able to cultivate this form of listening and practice it daily is a great asset.

It prevents you from bringing up your person experiences and thinking more about yourself in the Conversation. This is disrespectful to some people and discourages them from speaking.

Non-Empathic:

What Is Non-Empathic Listening?
It is the opposite of empathic listening. It has nothing to do empathy and is more of a selfish form of listening.

This is listening with the intent to speak or express your emotion. Here, you don’t put yourself in the other person’s place or try to understand him, even though you might pretend to.

I’ll give an example of a Non-Empathic form of Listening between friends.

Let’s say your friend comes to you and starts saying,

” Hey, I want to speak to you about something. You know, sometimes, I feel I should quit school, because not matter how hard I try I’m unable to cope with the lectures and every other activity that goes on there. I feel finding a job is a better option because I just can’t continue with …”

Then you cut him off saying,” Yeah, I totally understand what you’re saying, I feel that way too sometimes. I just hate school and want to start working already. Remember Yesterday when …”

Then you start telling your own story and feel you have totally understood what He is saying. This is so common amongst friends and is responsible for most problems in your relationships directly or indirectly.

Non-empathic listening also comes in form of pretending to listen to another person by nodding to whatever they’re saying or saying, “Yes I understand” when you aren’t even listening to a word he’s saying.
Then when he asks you a question, you reply, “Sorry, I didn’t get you. What was that?”

This kind of response discourages the person from expressing more of himself. It is also dangerous in building Successful relationships.

Why should I listen to another person:
Listening helps us climb the ladder of Success more easily. If you can form the habit of Listening to another person, there is a lot to gain. These are reasons Why should listen to another person.

• You can learn a lot from listening to another person.
• You build stronger and better relationships if you’re a great Listener.
• People respect you more if you listen to them empathetically.
• A good listening attitude is a great asset for the journey of Success.
• A good Listening skill makes you appear Smarter and Appealing to people.

Now that you know Why and How to Listen to another person, go ahead and practice these and make yourself a better person. Don’t forget to share this with another person.

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